Ask Amy: Ought to I assist my ex-husband together with his monetary struggles?


Pricey Amy: My ex-husband and I divorced in 2016. We’re each in our 70s and retired. We nonetheless co-own our lovely household dwelling. Since 2020, my ex and I’ve been residing within the dwelling (in separate flats).

This has principally been suitable. We’ve got a young-adult son who lives close by. He has contributed enormously to the upkeep and administration of the house, which has concerned renting rooms to mates and renting out an “Airbnb” suite.

My ex and I’ve vital fairness within the dwelling. Our divorce settlement says that we’re every accountable for 50 % of the home bills. I’ve been paying extra to cowl home bills than my ex can afford to pay.

He says I will probably be paid again if we promote the home. Our divorce settlement says both of us can name for the home to be offered, and up to now, neither of us have wished to promote. We wish to depart the home to our son, however rising taxes would possibly make it unaffordable to proceed residing right here within the coming years.

My ex additionally owns a condominium and has had a 10-year wrestle with the condominium affiliation, ensuing within the condominium remaining vacant and vital money owed accumulating.

I’m contemplating getting a reverse mortgage on our dwelling to assist my ex together with his monetary difficulties. Our son is in opposition to this concept and is unwilling to co-sign a home-equity mortgage (on the condominium or our dwelling) to assist my ex settle his money owed.

Our retirement incomes are so low that the one type of mortgage we might get and not using a co-signer could be a reverse mortgage.

This case is demanding for all of us. I’ve employed a monetary adviser and will probably be getting her recommendation quickly.

Any ideas on find out how to transfer forward peacefully and likewise solvent?

Pricey Peaceable: You might be sensible to enlist the assistance of knowledgeable monetary planner. (I’ve little experience concerning sophisticated monetary or actual property transactions.)

My tackle that is that in case you are to be reimbursed for bills on your private home, then hold cautious monitor and get a signed settlement outlining the phrases for reimbursement.

You shouldn’t get entangled in your ex’s condominium possession, and you need to NOT threat the fairness on your private home to bail him out. A reverse mortgage makes your debt develop, not shrink, merely kicking this downside into the long run.

It boggles the thoughts that your ex-husband has held onto this vacant property for therefore lengthy, however maybe his dispute with the condominium affiliation has resulted in liens on the property. He ought to get out from below this property, in any means attainable.

Double-check your monetary and authorized attachment to your ex’s debt with the monetary planner; convey your divorce decree and any associated paperwork to the assembly.

Your son sounds very savvy and cautious; he ought to accompany you as you focus on this with the skilled.

Pricey Amy: I’ve change into conscious that my neighbor has been leaving her 13-year-old at dwelling alone whereas she goes to work on Saturdays. I’m involved about this little one and marvel if I ought to name CPS to report this mum or dad for neglect?

Pricey Involved: 13-year-olds are able to being dwelling for quite a few hours on their very own. For many people who had been raised by single mother and father (or raised our kids as single mother and father), this “latchkey” life is totally regular.

A number of years in the past, I grew to become curious in regards to the longer-term influence on kids who had been left on their very own at dwelling after faculty whereas mother and father labored.

I requested a bunch of young-adults about this they usually all claimed that they normally had a number of chores they had been anticipated to do, that their mum or dad checked in frequently, and that they crammed the remainder of their time doing homework, watching TV and principally having fun with their independence.

Clearly, there are dangers for anybody being alone in a home.

If you’re actually involved, you would possibly supply this neighbor your cellphone quantity, in case their little one has any emergency wants.

Pricey Amy: Generally I snort studying your responses to folks. I ponder for those who understand how inadvertently humorous you might be?

Pricey Chuckling: Generally when folks disagree with my perspective, they are going to declare I’m being hilarious, but when I inject humor right into a response, it is vitally a lot on goal.

To reply your query, if I noticed I used to be being inadvertently humorous, then it would not be inadvertent.

© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content material Company.

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