Ask Amy: Ought to I inform my ex the the reason why I broke up with him?


Expensive Amy: I dated “C” for under a month in 2020.

It was clearly not long run. I used to be the one who broke it off. I’ve not contacted him since. Lately, I logged onto Fb for the primary time in a very long time, and I seen that he has been messaging me over the course of the final two years — and as not too long ago as final week (which is odd since he has my cellphone quantity).

It’s clear that he desires to get again collectively, however I’ve no real interest in reconnecting with him. I’m now questioning if I ought to inform him the explanations I broke off the connection. Telling him could be purely egocentric and therapeutic (for me).

I by no means instructed him all of the issues that bothered me, and if I did now, I’d lastly have the ability to get it off my chest. Moreover, possibly he’ll be keen to take this suggestions for what it’s? I’m NOT claiming I can change him, however what if my suggestions helps?

It is clear he isn’t had a lot luck sustaining a dedicated relationship (primarily based on all of the messages I’ve obtained over time), so possibly he’ll be keen to hear?

Nevertheless, I hesitate for a number of causes. The reality will sound harsh — as a result of it’s.

On the high of the listing is that he was immature, racist, and unscrupulous (i.e., stealing from his job), together with a protracted laundry listing of different horrible conduct. I ponder if I’m even the fitting individual to inform him these items.

I solely knew him for a month, so maybe I’m being too judgmental? Ought to I simply let him proceed on his personal journey?

Hesitant: Useful suggestions may be: “You’re late too typically. Your hygiene wants enchancment. Your roommates are impolite.”

This man’s infractions (apart from his immaturity) are all issues he already is aware of are unsuitable — as a result of everyone knows they’re unsuitable: He is racist. He is a thief.

Suggestions on this context would solely be a recitation of your personal values. Self-improvement just isn’t on the horizon for him — except he expresses a want for it, which he doesn’t appear to have executed.

He’s messaging you as a result of he can. Your lack of response doesn’t appear to discourage him. I recommend that you just proceed to not reply, take into account blocking him, and hope that he’s messaging you on Fb as a result of he has misplaced your quantity.

Expensive Amy: I not too long ago grew to become debt-free, due to about eight years of laborious work. The individual I’m relationship has been asking me how they’ll develop into debt-free. I’ve defined a number of occasions how I did this, providing all of the free sources I’ve used, however they maintain bringing it up as if we’ve by no means had the dialog.

Final week, once I was requested once more, I simply provided no recommendation and simply listened to a recitation of the emotional points surrounding their debt. I didn’t say something.

I ponder, how can I be of assist with out endlessly repeating myself?

David: Congratulations on attaining this enviable state. You’ve devoted nearly a decade to the lengthy and sluggish climb out of debt, and you’re completely justified in feeling very proud.

On many ranges, being in debt is one thing like being trapped in an habit. The addicted individual could be very interested by or intrigued by restoration, however till they take concrete steps — of their very own — restoration can’t start.

By discussing this with you, this individual is quickly relieving the strain brought on by the state of indebtedness, however relatively than utilizing you as a sounding board, your date may discover a gaggle like Debtors Nameless (DA), the place they’ll obtain ongoing help, in addition to encouragement, to face their debt.

Hand your date a teaspoon to start out the method of digging out, and ship them a hyperlink to

Expensive Amy: Readers are mad as a result of you didn’t call password sharing for streaming services theft! Good Grief, Charlie Brown. First, it’s not theft. It’s my password and account, and I can share it. Some households cut up the streaming prices to mix companies.

It’s solely theft for those who give somebody’s password and login data away with out their data. I believe your detractors are a bunch of whiners.

Derek: Readers noticed sharing passwords as “theft,” basically stealing from the streaming service corporations. (Persons are very protecting of their revenue margins.)

Video streaming companies are beginning to restrict the variety of customers who can share an account.

©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content material Company

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