Ask Amy: Teen desires to cease worrying a lot concerning the future

Pricey Amy: I’ll be a junior in highschool within the fall. Up to now, highschool has been bland. The one pleasure for me is the truth that I’m going to Japan on a faculty journey quickly.

I need to attend an out-of-state school, as a result of I need to have a contemporary begin. I need to have some type of good friend group (I’m an introvert), have a boyfriend and attend events (however I don’t need to solely social gathering in school). I’ve a tough time making selections, as a result of I’m so nervous that no matter I select can be a foul resolution and can have an effect on my future.

I are inclined to dwell on the long run quite than the current. I are typically very onerous on myself, which makes me really feel as if I’m my very own worst enemy relating to these things. I’m at all times worrying about issues as a substitute of simply stress-free and “being a young person.”

Different occasions, I really feel as if I’m behind in every little thing that ought to occur to youngsters. Generally, I simply need to cease making an attempt, as a result of nothing goes proper for me. However different occasions, I need to hold going and attempt to see what occurs. What ought to I do?

— Doubting Every part in Life

Doubting Every part: Let me begin by assuring you that what you’re going by way of could be very a lot inside the norm, not just for teenagers, but in addition for folks at each stage of life.

As a former anxious and doubting teenager, I’ll cross alongside my very own hard-earned knowledge: Life unfolds in matches and begins, and anxiousness doesn’t appear to vary the result. Wanting again, the one regrets I’ve are these issues I used to be too scared or anxious to attempt.

Many teenagers are saddled with a really brief view of their very own futures. For this reason the teenager years are typically experimental, however apart from the occasions when poor judgment results in accidents, harm or being pregnant, only a few selections you make now will change the course of the remainder of your life.

School just isn’t actually the expertise you see portrayed within the media. It should undoubtedly broaden your decisions, however you’ll nonetheless be your self, with most of the identical questions, issues and insecurities. That’s the reason it will be important so that you can perceive that the one individual locking you into a selected future is you.

My recommendation for you is to intentionally shorten your view. For the remainder of the summer season, promise your self to not look past the summer season. This abroad journey is a tremendous alternative to stay within the second and to type friendships and connections. In case you don’t decelerate your racing ideas, you’ll miss what is correct in entrance of you.

Researching Zen Buddhism as practiced in Japan would possibly assist you to understand that there isn’t a objective in being someplace if all you’re doing is considering of going someplace else. Write down these three phrases: Be right here now.

Pricey Amy: We acquired an invite to a commencement social gathering for a really deserving younger man. Immediately, one week earlier than the commencement social gathering, we acquired a Fb invitation to an “further celebration.” The graduate’s sister accepted a promotion at her firm and can be transferring out of state for her new job.

The commencement social gathering is now a twin social gathering. Can we take a going-away reward for the daughter? If sure, what’s an applicable reward, and the way a lot ought to we spend? We’re already giving $100 to the graduate.

Confused: Adults who get job promotions have already got their social gathering reward: the promotion. If you’re near this younger lady and need to rejoice her excellent news, then you may give her a espresso card for a modest quantity. (“Your first few brews in your new residence are on us!”) In any other case, I don’t assume it’s needed to offer the sister something besides your honest expressed delight and pleasure about her new journey.

Pricey Amy: I needed to share with my co-workers the letter from “Grateful Grandchild,” who needed their inheritance upfront to journey. We got here up with totally different choices.

There was not a single one that thought that this request could be okay, which you very delicately identified. (Too delicately!) First, this grandchild ought to search for the phrase “inheritance.” It’s one thing left upon an individual’s passing, not earlier than.

Working It: To start with, I like listening to that these questions are shared and mentioned. And though I’m seldom accused of being “too delicate,” I take your level!

© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content material Company.

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