Ask Amy: We’re uncomfortable round our neighbor who received’t cease hugging

Pricey Amy: A brand new neighbor moved in. I left a welcome present on their porch, like I do for everybody who strikes in.

He obtained our quantity from a neighborhood listing and texted us a couple of occasions, inviting us to go to. My husband and I went to their home, and our youngsters (ages 13 and 11) stayed residence. Upon coming into, the husband mentioned: “Let’s get the awkward half over and hug.” Hugs got here in our course, and we gave them each a hug.

Throughout dinner he talked about wanting to make use of our pool. After extra texts from him, we invited them over on a Sunday night. The husband instantly went in to hug my son. My son gave him an uncomfortable aspect hug. My older son put out his hand for a handshake. The neighbor mentioned, “Oh, a handshake, huh?” I by no means thought they’d are available anticipating to hug our youngsters!

A number of weeks later he texted, asking my son to feed their canine whereas they have been away. Our son had by no means been to their home earlier than. We weren’t comfy sending him by himself due to the cuddling.

The neighbor appeared stunned I used to be with my son. He got here in to hug me, and I provided a aspect squeeze and my son caught his hand out for a handshake. Once more, the neighbor commented that my son shook his hand as a substitute of hugging him. I used to be happy with my son. And glad I didn’t ship him alone.

Whereas we have been there, he requested my son for his cellphone quantity. I piped up: “You possibly can name our landline quantity to ask our son to feed your canine.” He appeared stunned that I didn’t readily give him my son’s cell. I preserve telling myself that these neighbors are simply attempting too exhausting, however we really feel uncomfortable.

How can I be a sort neighbor however create house? My husband and I are jokingly telling one another we’re prepared to maneuver. We might love to listen to your ideas, even in case you really feel I’m mistaken.

No Hugs: I’m not there. You’re. And whereas my instincts inform me that this neighbor is a pushy boundary crosser and close-hugger who doesn’t have youngsters and isn’t used to coping with households, I won’t see precise hazard residing subsequent door.

What considerations me is that you’d reasonably undergo undesirable sidewinder hugs out of your neighbor than take care of him by expressing — out loud — the way you and your loved ones function. You say, “Stan — I ought to have talked about this earlier than, however we’re not huggers. We and our youngsters solely hug members of the family. So this makes us uncomfortable. We additionally preserve boundaries relating to contact with our youngsters and we’d like you to respect these boundaries.”

Emphasize to your sons that if they’re skeeved-out by this neighbor, they need to preserve their distance, not settle for any affords or strain to feed his canine, and let you know about any bodily or digital contact — or tried contact.

Pricey Amy: My spouse and I’ve a niece, “Cassie,” who has a daughter named “Trina.” Trina is totally improbable — she is vibrant, energetic, variety, and delightful. We love Trina dearly and need to do what’s finest for her.

Trina’s start father, “Thomas” was a married man with three youngsters when he fathered her. Thomas died by suicide very shortly after Trina’s start. My spouse and I strongly imagine that Thomas’ mother and father have the best to know of their great grandchild’s existence, and he or she additionally deserves to find out about them. Cassie and her mom (my sister) disagree.

Nice Uncle: I occur to agree with you about all events’ proper to know the reality about this parentage, however — relying on the age of the kid — this determination ought to relaxation with the kid’s mom.

Pricey Amy:Dissatisfied” wrote in about being served caffeinated espresso at church, regardless that she was informed it was decaf. She solely misplaced a couple of hours of sleep.

I used to be served common espresso at a profit dinner, regardless that it was purported to be decaf. I ended up in cardiac intensive care. Individuals ought to know that caffeine could be a major problem to somebody whose coronary heart can’t take it.

I now drink decaf at residence however I solely drink water after I’m out. It’s the one option to keep protected.

Nonetheless Right here: A number of readers have reported experiencing very critical signs associated to ingesting caffeine.

© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content material Company.

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