Miss Manners: Do visitor room doorways keep shut when nobody’s in there?

Pricey Miss Manners: Is it applicable for a visitor to shut the door to the visitor bed room when they don’t seem to be within the room? We’ve an occasional houseguest who does this, each when they’re hanging out with us at residence and after they depart the home. Is it the visitor’s territory to do as they please during the go to?

Our visitor bed room is an workplace/library with a Murphy mattress. We sometimes don’t want to enter that room when we’ve company, solely sometimes to fetch a e book or an merchandise from the closet. Alternatively, our household leaves doorways of unoccupied rooms open, and having a room closed off with nobody in it bothers me a bit.

Is there any etiquette round this? Relatedly, if a visitor does depart the door open, is it okay to (briefly) go into the room when they don’t seem to be there? Possibly I’ve felt too free to enter, and because of this the visitor closes the door.

Or maybe they’re anxious in regards to the mess you may discover in there. However sure, Miss Manners believes there’s an unstated contract that when occupied, a visitor room is essentially the visitor’s territory, inside cause, and exceptions ought to include discover: “I’ll should go in sometimes to fetch some work once you’re gone, however I’ll do my greatest to not disturb something.” This offers your company adequate warning that you will have to enter, and that they need to hold any personal objects hidden.

Pricey Miss Manners: When my spouse is out of city or in any other case engaged, I get pleasure from going out to eat on my own. The difficulty is that I do know a single diner just isn’t very worthwhile for the waitstaff, particularly after I’m seated at a four-person desk or sales space.

I attempt to go after I know the restaurant received’t be busy, however I can’t all the time make that work. When they’re busy, I attempt to tip further (sometimes 50 to 80 p.c), however they don’t know throughout the meal that I’ll try this. I typically really feel rushed out the door.

Ought to I acknowledge the tipping subject upfront and guarantee them they received’t be shorted? Ought to I am going on quietly tipping further and attempt to ignore their efforts to hurry me? Ought to I simply not fear about it and tip usually?

How would you phrase this? “Don’t fear. I’m going to tip you sufficient to make this value your whereas?” Not solely is that this unseemly, it may be ineffective. The servers could effectively admire it, however the seating turnover is probably going dictated by their employers, not them.

You could possibly eat on the bar, the place the menu is often the identical and the house not as restricted. But when this doesn’t go well with you, Miss Manners assures you neither extravagant suggestions nor resignation to being rushed are compulsory. So long as you aren’t abusing it, you will have as a lot proper as any paying buyer to be there.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by means of Saturday on You may ship inquiries to Miss Manners at You too can comply with her @RealMissManners.

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