Miss Manners: How can I learn somebody’s t-shirt with out staring?


Expensive Miss Manners: I’m an 11-year-old male. I’ve not too long ago come throughout a dilemma when I attempt to learn the writing on a woman’s or girl’s shirt.

As a rule, the print on a shirt is on the chest, and it might come throughout that I’m taking a look at her breasts. Since I’m a boy, it is a severe problem I’ve. It appears awkward to say “Excuse me, I’m simply studying your shirt,” particularly to a stranger. Your ideas?

Miss Manners’ ideas are that you could be already require studying glasses. It ought to solely take a fast look to learn somebody’s shirt.

In case you are being accused of staring, you will have appeared for too lengthy. True, if individuals put on shirts with greater than a sentence on them, they solely have themselves in charge for others taking the time to learn it. And Miss Manners has discovered that it’s straightforward to overlook what you’re carrying.

However in the event you do get caught searching for too lengthy, you had higher be capable of rapidly reference what you have been studying.

Expensive Miss Manners: For my 78th birthday, one in all my kids despatched me a birthday cake. The cake was possibly 50 p.c icing with bits of sugar sweet all through. I do know it was costly as a result of I noticed it marketed.

I’ve been a baker for 50 years and infrequently make iced muffins. The cake was so candy I could not eat it.

I didn’t know the best way to reply once they requested how I favored it, so I mentioned, “What was it imagined to style like?” What ought to I’ve mentioned?

The intention of your youngster was absolutely to please you with an extravagant, and apparently well-advertised, cake — to not maliciously rot out your tooth and offer you cavities.

Miss Manners suggests you observe saying, “It was so type of you to consider me on my birthday” as a substitute for, “Why are you attempting to each kill and annoy me together with your sugary presents?”

Expensive Miss Manners: My husband of 58 years died final yr. He was extremely revered and cherished by many individuals who had skilled his consolation and prayers in instances of want. The truth is, I acquired 150 sympathy playing cards. He really was a superb man to all who have been in want.

What nobody is aware of is that, from the start of our life collectively, he NEVER put me first. He seldom, if ever, inspired me or complimented me. His abusiveness got here via within the tone of his voice, not his precise phrases. I sought counseling after 30 years as a result of I now not knew who I used to be or what I wished.

I can’t clarify the reduction I felt after I now not got here residence to his automotive within the storage. How do I reply to the fixed sympathy I proceed to obtain from those that miss him greater than I do? I don’t wish to denigrate his reminiscence for many who skilled his love and concern.

“Thanks. He’ll be missed.” That it’s going to not be by you, Miss Manners assures you, needn’t be specified.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday via Saturday on You possibly can ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, It’s also possible to comply with her @RealMissManners.

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