Miss Manners: I really feel unhealthy that the majority of my dinner visitors caught covid
I really feel sure that the celebration was the occasion that precipitated this, and I really feel horrible that my visitors are unwell due to it. What’s the proper factor to do now?
Oh, pricey. Not your fault, in fact, nevertheless it was your celebration.
You may have already accomplished the proper factor in notifying folks instantly, and, Miss Manners trusts, telling them how horrible you’re feeling. This can be a uncommon event the place the non-apology so typically used illegitimately by responsible folks — a variation of “I’m sorry you’re feeling that approach” — is authentic. You do really feel unhealthy that they really feel sick.
There are two extra issues so that you can do — or, quite, one to do and one to not do:
It is best to investigate cross-check your visitors sometimes to see how they’re doing, and it is best to chorus from any hypothesis about who was the service. Everyone examined and everyone attended in good religion, so no good can come of concentrating on anybody.
Expensive Miss Manners: I requested my fiance, through textual content, to please name me earlier than he left a celebration. His response was, “Why?”
I discovered this extraordinarily impolite, thoughtless and disrespectful. He disagrees and says it’s a approach of claiming, “What would you like?” which I nonetheless discover offensive. This has now change into a extremely debated and contentious topic. Am I incorrect to imagine he ought to have as an alternative stated, “Okay,” or, “What’s up?”
Let’s settle this earlier than you might be married. In any other case, there might be unhealthy instances forward.
It’s no extra clear to Miss Manners than it was to your fiance why you wished him to name at that specific second. So his query doesn’t appear unreasonable to her, though maybe it may have been interpreted with a difficult tone.
However that might be in search of hassle. Which is what you appear to be doing.
You denounced his response as if he had advised you to go to the satan (or worse, however that’s so far as Miss Manners will go), then refused to simply accept his benign rationalization.
One query for you: Why?
Expensive Miss Manners: There was a time when it was thought of unhealthy manners to carry a present to a marriage. Somewhat, items had been to be delivered earlier than, and even after, the marriage day. It was notably gauche to carry one to a black-tie affair. After I was a child, there have been no present tables at receptions. It merely wasn’t accomplished.
Nor ought to or not it’s, ever, though what the gown code has to do with it puzzles Miss Manners.
Folks having a marriage are too preoccupied to simply accept presents within the ordinary gracious method. These present tables are infamous for shedding playing cards and, in semipublic locations, even shedding packages.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by means of Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You possibly can ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, missmanners.com. You too can comply with her @RealMissManners.