Miss Manners: Is it inappropriate to ask for donations at a reunion?

Pricey Miss Manners: On the fiftieth reunion of my skilled faculty class, the primary session of the reunion program included a number of audio system on matters one would anticipate at such an occasion: class historical past, adjustments within the make-up of in the present day’s college students, introduction of latest school members.

Inserted into this lineup of audio system was a consultant from the varsity’s improvement workplace, who proceeded to present an exhaustive — and I do imply exhaustive — accounting of the myriad methods during which we might give to the varsity. Money items, securities, actual property, annuities, all method of bequests.

On the finish of the presentation, through the question-and-answer interval, certainly one of my classmates spoke as much as vehemently say that this enchantment to a captive viewers was in very dangerous style, and under no circumstances belonged on the occasion. Different classmates disagreed, which led to a spirited debate.

What are your ideas? Do you imagine this to be a breach of etiquette?

Maybe, however solely in the identical sense as having a industrial inserted into your favourite program. It’s not simply because your alma mater longs to see your growing older face that reunions are held.

That stated, Miss Manners remembers a reunion of a faculty within the Northeast the place elaborate leisure and considerate companies have been offered, but hardly a phrase was stated about donations. They raked it in. Maybe your faculty would have accomplished higher by being much less obtrusive.

Pricey Miss Manners: I’m very a lot in opposition to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, and I don’t wish to help it by shopping for a diamond engagement ring, for the reason that stone is prone to come from Russia. I advised my fiancée I want to purchase her a ruby, emerald or sapphire ring — her alternative — however she says the one ring applicable for an engagement is a diamond. What’s your recommendation?

This isn’t the jewellery division, so Miss Manners can’t advise you on discover a diamond with a transparent provenance (or a lab-created one). However that’s what you need to do.

The reason being not as a result of there’s any etiquette rule about diamond rings. Frankly, we don’t even care if there’s a ring, a lot much less what kind. Etiquette considers that each one an engagement requires is an settlement between two individuals to be married. It’s not we who invented that bended-knee routine.

However your fiancée craves this. And your marriage will go higher in case you acknowledge that whereas a partner’s ethical convictions ought to be revered, so ought to a partner’s emotional longings.

Pricey Miss Manners: If one is eating alone at a restaurant and should burp, what ought to one do afterward? It appears coarse to say nothing, however it appears odd to attempt to have interaction close by diners.

By saying “excuse me,” would one be asking the salt shaker for a pardon?

Even when eating alone, one ought to say “excuse me.” Particularly if the individuals on the subsequent desk jumped.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday via Saturday on You’ll be able to ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, You may as well comply with her @RealMissManners.

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