Miss Manners: Landscaper is all the time discovering shoppers’ hidden home keys


Pricey Miss Manners: I work on landscaping and grounds upkeep initiatives. On many events, I’ve encountered hidden home keys — below the mat, beneath a flowerpot and so forth.

Ought to I point out my discoveries to the homeowners? It appears awkward to say, “I do know the place your keys are hidden.”

The one cause Miss Manners can consider for mentioning it’s if there’s a drawback with returning it to its unique location — for instance, if the flowerpot is now damaged, and the hot button is mendacity uncovered on the entrance porch, or if the proprietor simply had you take away the flora that had served as a hiding spot.

She agrees that “I do know the place your keys are hidden” will not be a great way to foster belief. Much better could be, “It anxious me that this was in plain sight, and I wasn’t certain what you prefer to completed with it.”

Pricey Miss Manners: I’ve been identified with a typical ailment, however my physique doesn’t reply to the usual therapy. I should be very cautious about what and after I eat. I’m below a physician’s care.

Shut mates have been accommodating, however in much less acquainted social conditions, I discover my lack of indulgence brings a spate of undesirable medical recommendation — this, after demurely mentioning the identify of the situation when pressed. I’m provided the names of “higher” medical doctors, prescription drugs that cured Aunt Gertrude, behavioral recommendation (apparently I have to “get robust” with my physician) and extra.

What’s a well mannered technique to finish this discuss and switch the dialog to pleasanter subjects?

Naming your medical situation, Miss Manners notes with out satisfaction but additionally with out shock, made issues worse. Cease supplying ammunition.

As a substitute, strive for the next alternate when provided one thing you can not eat.

“Would you want some?”

“It’s actually good; it’s best to strive it.”

“I am certain it’s, thanks, however no.”

“You’ll damage my emotions when you don’t have any.”

“I definitely hope not — you may have been such an attentive host.”

“You then’ll have some?”

Ultimately, the effectively will run dry.

Pricey Miss Manners: What ought to an invitee do when an RSVP date is approaching, and they’re nonetheless not constructive they’ll settle for the invitation?

This has occurred to me every now and then, as a consequence of uncommon circumstances. Ought to I am going forward and decline, despite the fact that I’d like to attend? Or maybe name the host and clarify the circumstances?

Please, oh please, oh please, don’t name and clarify the circumstances.

Your host has provided to entertain and/or feed you. Does it appear proper to reciprocate by including to their worries (not understanding how a lot meals to purchase or whether or not to ask one other visitor)?

The correct plan of action is to say no politely. After getting completed that, Miss Manners raises no objection to a brief rationalization: “We might have beloved to return to the get together, however sadly we’re nonetheless ready for the hospital to schedule George’s surgical procedure.” This leaves the choice about whether or not to exchange you, or to increase the deadline, the place it belongs: within the arms of the hosts.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by means of Saturday on You’ll be able to ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, You can even comply with her @RealMissManners.

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