Miss Manners: My companion’s cleaner makes sexist feedback to me


Expensive Miss Manners: I just lately moved in with my companion, who has had the identical cleansing girl for 15 years. I believed she was fairly good and we obtained on nicely at first.

Then she began making delicate feedback about my stage of cleanliness, which I ignored. We aren’t soiled folks, nevertheless it simply doesn’t matter to me or my companion if laundry sits in an unused room for 3 days earlier than it will get folded. To be trustworthy, he would go away it alone and pull clear garments from that pile all week.

She has been making extra passive-aggressive remarks to me, not him, as we go on. As we speak she defined that her grandma taught her {that a} girl who doesn’t preserve a clear home is mentally unstable. She teaches her kids this, as nicely.

I used to be shocked, and I advised her that was an terrible factor to say. I’m fairly fed up and wish to handle this subsequent time she comes. Ought to I simply let it go?

Have you ever mentioned this together with your companion? It appears to Miss Manners that he is likely to be the higher one to have this chat with the cleansing girl — if for no different cause than the truth that her sexist proclivity would possibly make her extra apt to take heed to him.

However whatever the final result, you’d do nicely to go away the home any time it’s being cleaned. Or perhaps that was this girl’s plan all alongside, in order that she might lastly fold and put away that looming pile of laundry with out objection.

Expensive Miss Manners: What are your ideas on the knowledge or folly of gently informing a fellow driver that they’ve simply parked their automobile in order to take up two areas?

That anybody who is shameless sufficient to take up two parking areas is just not probably going to be open to suggestions, nonetheless mild it might be.

Sadly, and to your personal security, Miss Manners suggests you fume in silence.

Expensive Miss Manners: My sister-in-law despatched us a textual content message with an invite, which I assume she took an image of, for her husband’s seventieth birthday celebration.

I’ve despatched many, many invites previously. I’ve spent a number of time getting ready them so they appear good and applicable, then gathering mailing addresses (or e mail addresses) earlier than sending them out within the mail (or electronically). I all the time need my visitors to really feel essential once they get an invite.

Nonetheless, receiving an invite by textual content doesn’t sit nicely with me, and it makes me really feel unimportant. It’s NOT pleasing.

What do you consider this? I’m pondering of emailing her with a correct response, slightly than sending a textual content message.

Or you would go hog wild and write the letter by hand. That’ll educate ’er!

Miss Manners supposes that this can be a good instance of the passive-aggressive recommendation she is usually accused of shelling out. But when it offers you satisfaction and doesn’t overtly insult the invitation issuer — complicated her is completely all proper — then she sees nothing fallacious with it. Simply don’t be stunned when your sister-in-law ignores any handwritten invites and coerces you into sending textual content reminders anyway.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by way of Saturday on You’ll be able to ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, You may also observe her @RealMissManners.

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