Miss Manners: My spouse accepted two Tremendous Bowl celebration invitations


Pricey Miss Manners: My spouse and I had been invited to 2 Tremendous Bowl events on the identical evening. She accepted each.

I feel we should always have politely declined the second invitation with, “So sorry, however we’ve a earlier dedication.” Past the truth that we will probably be operating from one finish of city to the opposite, I feel it’s impolite to go to at least one celebration for an hour after which go away. However my spouse disagrees.

When will you allow the primary celebration — in the course of the sport, in order that the host has to stand up and see you out? Earlier than the sport, so it appears as if one thing is fallacious? After the sport, so that you just miss the socializing?

Oh, at halftime. Which is able to interrupt the people who find themselves watching that.

Miss Manners reminds your spouse of what many individuals appear to have forgotten: that invites ought to be promptly accepted or declined, and bargaining over the phrases isn’t allowed.

Pricey Miss Manners: I’ve had severe again points through the years, together with a number of surgical procedures, and had a hip changed a number of months in the past.

Since then, regardless of rigorous bodily remedy and residential train, I’ve been compelled to make use of a cane. It helps me stroll with out a vital limp and in addition helps hold me upright when standing, as I’m not fairly as regular on my ft as I (and my medical doctors) would really like. I stay in pretty severe ache if I’ve to face for quite a lot of minutes.

My challenge is not the cane — or the ache, for that matter — however the truth that, over and over and over, folks ask me why I’m utilizing a cane. Whereas I’m bored with the well being questions basically, what actually bothers me is once I reply that I had hip substitute surgical procedure, they usually ask how way back. Once I begrudgingly inform them “six months in the past,” I inevitably get the response, “Effectively, you should not nonetheless want a cane!” adopted by an outline of their very own expertise with hip substitute (“I used to be strolling with out a cane in two weeks! It’s good to do bodily remedy!”) or some related expertise of their buddy or member of the family.

That is usually adopted by different enjoyable, probing questions like, “Who did your surgical procedure? Was it their first time?” or feedback like, “It’s essential to not be working arduous sufficient at restoration!” At this level, I’ve run out of graciousness. I’m past bored with the impolite and unthinking curiosity, not to mention the recommendation I don’t want and don’t need.

How do I deflect all of this? I’ve tried “I actually don’t like to debate my well being points,” however that by no means works. Pleading “Can we please speak about one thing else?” appears to simply affirm their false opinions that I’m too lazy to attempt PT or that my surgeon was a quack.

“It’s helpful for when I’ve to defend myself.”

Then, in the event that they go on about what try to be doing, Miss Manners hopes you’ll smile if you ask, “Oh, expensive, do I’ve to defend myself?”

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by Saturday on You’ll be able to ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, You may as well comply with her @RealMissManners.

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