Miss Manners: Niece is having her third child — and third child bathe


Pricey Miss Manners: I used to be at all times below the assumption that your first child bathe must also be your just one. However I’ve now been invited to a 3rd child bathe for my niece, whose oldest youngster continues to be very younger.

I might perceive if there was some area between the children, since new tools can be wanted, or if this third child was a distinct gender. However they’re all boys, and her oldest is simply 2. This looks like a present seize.

What do you assume? Ought to I purchase one other reward and go to the bathe? Or is it okay to ship my regards, figuring out I’ll nonetheless present up with a present when the newborn is born?

Showers are reward grabs. That’s their sole function. However Miss Manners agrees that second and third ones are extreme.

Sadly, in case you do go, a gift is predicted. If you don’t want to be pressured into buying from a registry, witnessing limitless present-opening and enjoying unseemly get together video games, then displaying up with a present after the newborn arrives is okay.

Both method, it appears, these dad and mom will get their loot.

Pricey Miss Manners: My husband and I benefit from the firm of one other couple we’ve recognized for years. I’ve had them over for dinner many instances. I eat solely plant-based (vegan) meals; nevertheless, I make each vegan and meat-based dishes for everybody else. I don’t ask them to convey something, as they’re our company.

Just a few years in the past, we invited them to fulfill us for dinner at a restaurant, which we deliberate to pay for. A day earlier than the deliberate dinner, they known as and needed to ask us to their home relatively than consuming out. I requested if I might convey something, and their reply was no.

When dinner at their home was served, it was stew with a number of sorts of meat and no greens. Even the salad had bacon in it. The spouse stated, “I don’t assume you eat meat, however I hope you possibly can eat this.”

Miss Manners, they’ve recognized for years that I don’t eat animal merchandise. I picked via the meal as finest I might with out criticism. Because the pandemic, we haven’t gotten along with them.

What are your ideas on hosts who don’t present any meatless dishes for a longtime good friend? As a vegan, I’ve at all times made dishes with meat for my company.

That your pals are both inconsiderate, thoughtless or maybe simply forgetful. The latter appears unlikely in spite of everything these years, however in case you can imagine that’s all it’s, the friendship could be saved — in case you assume it worthwhile.

Miss Manners means that subsequent time, you possibly can politely say prematurely, “Oh, I can’t keep in mind if I advised you, however I’m afraid I don’t eat meat of any form. I’m completely satisfied to convey one thing, nevertheless, if it’s onerous to separate it in your different company.” And if she as soon as once more serves you bacon salad, you’ll know that the ruse is up.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday via Saturday on You possibly can ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, You may as well comply with her @RealMissManners.

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