Miss Manners: Prospects make impolite feedback about my worker’s hair


Expensive Miss Manners: I’m the supervisor of a present retailer, the place my clientele largely ranges from 40 to 70 years outdated. I’ve an worker in her early 20s who is good, tremendous useful and professionally courteous — every little thing you’d need in a employee. She has her personal distinctive fashion, and modifications her hair with enjoyable colours or highlights; proper now it’s a really fairly shade of sunshine inexperienced.

A number of clients have made inappropriate feedback to her about it and have even laughed. One girl pointed at my worker, saying to her daughter: “See? I instructed you she had inexperienced hair. Isn’t that nuts?”

My worker takes it in stride, smiling by all of it, however I really feel horrible. I’ve needed to say one thing to those clients, however I don’t need to lose their enterprise. Nor can I afford to lose my worker. I’m unsure what I can say to get them to cease being so impolite to a human being in public.

You suppose you have two issues: defending your worker and never shedding enterprise. Miss Manners sees 4.

Correcting your clients’ unhealthy habits wouldn’t simply be unhealthy enterprise; it will even be impolite (two issues). And never defending your worker isn’t just impolite, however it is usually unhealthy for enterprise (two extra). In any case, who needs to work for an employer who doesn’t look out for the workers?

The vital level is that your worker has seen this habits so usually exterior the shop that she doesn’t anticipate you to name the police each time it occurs inside it. There might come a time when the habits is so unhealthy that it’s important to ask the client to go away, however most conditions might be dealt with with out shedding both celebration’s enterprise.

Smile on the buyer with the daughter and say: “Actually? I like the colour very a lot. Is there one thing you got here in to purchase, or one thing I can present you?”

And though it’s impolite to inform one other individual they’re being impolite, etiquette is silent about third events: After the client is gone, privately inform your worker how sorry you might be that individuals might be so terrible.

Expensive Miss Manners: My son’s girlfriend’s mother despatched me a giant card after I had surgical procedure. We’ve by no means met. She stated she hopes I’m feeling higher and possibly we will have lunch someday.

Ought to I reply with a card? If I do, am I interfering in my son’s romantic life? I have no idea his intentions, however his girlfriend has purchased loads of issues for him over time: garments, scuba gear, snorkeling gear. Whom ought to I ask?

Your query — your first query — might be simpler after we’ve picked up among the muddle. The garments, the scuba gear, the snorkeling gear, your son’s intentions and the scale of the get-well card can all go within the closet, as a result of they’re irrelevant.

So, too, is your worry that answering an invite to lunch might be thought-about meddlesome. Lastly, as a result of you may have already requested Miss Manners, we will discard your query about whom to seek the advice of.

All that continues to be are an invite to lunch — which you must promptly settle for or decline — and the query of whether or not you need your son discussing your well being along with his girlfriend’s mom.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by Saturday on You possibly can ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, You can too comply with her @RealMissManners.

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