Miss Manners: The diamond earrings my boyfriend purchased are seemingly faux


Expensive Miss Manners: My boyfriend gave me a pair of diamond earrings for Christmas. They’re substantial in measurement. He additionally purchased diamond jewellery for his daughters and mom.

Upon nearer inspection, I noticed that the earrings are set in silver, and I’m fairly certain they don’t seem to be actual diamonds. He’s satisfied that they’re. That’s the concern: He spent fairly a bit of cash, considering he was shopping for diamonds.

I’ll put on them, regardless. However I really feel dangerous realizing he has seemingly been scammed. I do not wish to inform him, however on the identical time, I hate to see him waste a lot cash on one thing he was fooled into believing was real.

Have you ever by no means heard the adage, “Don’t look a present horse within the mouth?”

Sure, you could possibly have the jewellery appraised, learn how a lot the gentleman paid for it, and, if there’s a nice disparity, inform him that he was made a idiot of.

Miss Manners fails to see what this could accomplish, other than discouraging him from making an attempt once more to please you with presents.

Expensive Miss Manners: I’m a small-business proprietor who has labored his tail off for the final 20 years to construct a profitable enterprise. I’ve 20 workers, of whom 5 are full time.

This Christmas, I gave money bonuses starting from $100 to $1,500 to my employees, with a handwritten word expressing my gratitude and thanking them for being part of our group.

Of the 20, two of them despatched me beautiful thank-you notes, and one stated “thanks” after I spoke with them over the telephone. The opposite 17: silence.

I’m the sort of employer who by no means stops saying “thanks.” I’m old style that means. However someway, somebody getting $400, $750 and even $1,500 can’t even acknowledge receiving the present, not to mention thank me for it.

It felt good to me to offer these presents and I understand I ought to by no means count on thanks. However actually, is that this what we have turn into as a society? I’m rethinking the presents for subsequent yr if individuals will merely count on them. If that’s how they really feel, then it should turn into “profit-sharing” with a strict system for compensation.

Is thanks an excessive amount of to count on? The 2 written notes I received actually warmed my coronary heart.

No person advocates giving written thanks greater than Miss Manners does. This time of yr, she is exhausted from battling those that declare that the pure pleasure of giving ought to make it pointless to know if a gift was obtained, not to mention appreciated.

And people two workers have been sensible: It’s all the time a good suggestion to heat your boss’s coronary heart.

Nonetheless, she should level out that bonuses aren’t presents. Even when not strictly mandated, they’re, in reality, compensation for work — presumably a reward for work effectively executed. That is profit-sharing, within the sense that individuals who contribute to the earnings are given a share of them.

Now, in case your nephew has didn’t acknowledge the pc you gave him, Miss Manners is just too able to denounce him.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by Saturday on You’ll be able to ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, You can even comply with her @RealMissManners.

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